💡A better way to say "No"

Good afternoon Geniuses, and congratulations to last issue’s winner of the Stasher Reusable Silicone Storage Bags. We’re looking to fill our Fall reading list. Is there anything you think we should include? (Just hit reply.)

Daily Inspiration

“But a mountain of recent evidence suggests that teacher skill has less influence on a student's performance than a completely different set of factors: namely, how much kids have learned from their parents, how hard they work at home, and whether the parents have instilled an appetite for education.” ― Steven Levitt

STRATEGY

A Better Way to Say “No”

Saying "no" to your kids is unavoidable. The way in which you convey that "no" really matters though. Here are some strategies for lowering the odds of dramatic pushback.

The direct "no" can seem harsh and may not offer room for understanding or discussion. Instead, consider rephrasing to explain the reason behind the denial. For instance, rather than saying "No, don't climb that," you could say "It's not safe to climb that because it can’t support your weight." This gives context and helps kids understand why they’re being denied. Research supports that kids are more likely to comply with a request when they understand the reason behind it.

Sometimes, offering an alternative can be effective instead. If a child wants candy before dinner, instead of a straightforward "no," you might say, "You can have it after you finish your meal." This way, you’re not merely restricting but giving them a path to what they want.

Finally, sandwiching “no” between two “yeses” can help the message resonate. For example: “Yes, you can have a turn. Your friend just started, so they get to finish first. But, then it’s your turn.”

A softer, more explanatory form of "no" can be the difference between compliance and a blow-up. It allows children to understand why an action is prohibited, respects their growing independence, and often sets the stage for a discussion rather than a confrontation.

GOOD FINDS

Things That Caught Our Attention

• Pediatricians, Parents Struggle to Get Updated Covid Vaccine for Kids describes the magnitude of a frustration many of us have felt recently.

• The Stealth Campaign That’s Getting Your Kids Hooked on Chess

• Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams. A professor and father gives his “last lecture” while facing terminal cancer. This internet classic from 2008 is well worth watching. Or, re-watching if you haven’t seen it in a while.

GENIUS PRODUCT

Packable, foldable, anywhere seat

The Step2 Foldable Flip Seat is one of those things you didn’t know you needed until you try it. It works wherever: at the game, on the edge of the pool, at the beach, and more. A comfortable, supportive seat is just a better perch from which to watch the kids.

Games

Trivia

• When do babies begin to smell? (Hint: it’s probably earlier than you think.)

• How many steps and how many falls does a waking 1 year old average per hour?

ANSWERS FROM LAST TIME

• An infant has about 300 bones, while adults have 206. Infant bones fuse over time, reducing the total number.

• For an incredible 13 years, from 1999 to 2012, Jacob was the most popular boys name in America.

• Guinness says the most babies born to one woman is an unbelievable 69. She gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets.

ONE LAST THING

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